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A Motherless Daughters Advice To Those That Still Have Their Mom

You've heard it all before I 'm sure if you've ever spoken to someone young or old that has lost their own Mom. From the "Tell your Mom you love her" or "Make sure and call her every day." Very sound advice however when you actually lose your Mom those things won't matter. You will know your Mom knew you loved her no matter what, especially if you are a Mom yourself when you lose yours. Calling her everyday will be nice but it won't help you recall the sound of her voice or laughter once she's gone.

Here are a few things I suggest you do and that I wish I had done if you still have your Mom. I wish I had found a list like this when my own Mom was sick.

1. Record videos-Record them of everyday things with her your Mom, with you in it or with just her in it. Record her cooking, tending to a garden, or simply sitting with you. Make sure you get the sound of her voice and catch her contagious laugh on there. You see pictures are great however you will always be able to remember the way your Mom looked. It's the sound of her voice that's where your memory will fail you and you'll want so badly to remember but won't be able to.

2. Ask questions-My Mom had a favorite song, she listened to it so much it just became an everyday occurance at our house that I never really noticed it. I never took the time to ask her why that song was her favorite. I never asked what memories it brought back for her or what place in time it took her to and who she was with. I would give anything to have those answers now so I could think of it when I listen to that song for her.

3. Write a Letter- Ask your Mom to sit down and write you or your children a handwritten letter. Tell her she can put whatever she wants in the letter. One of my most valued pieces my Mom left behind was handwritten cards and letters to me as a child and young adult. I love reading them and seeing her handwriting. It's also great for later if you want to get a tattoo or get something with their handwriting engraved on it.

4. Recipes-Ask your Mom to write out her favorite recipes ones that you recall as a child. I promise you these will be something you appreciate having so much later on in life when you are making them for your own children or grandchildren.

5. Pictures-Take pictures of her, with her, from her perspective, as her to take pictures of you with your camera. Pictures, pictures, pictures. There is no detail too small and never will anyone look back and say, "You took too many pictures, you should have taken less."

6. Family History-I've lost most of the key women in my life at this point. They've all went on to Heaven too soon. It's when I find myself sitting at the doctor's office and the paper asks, "Family History" and I freeze. I didn't take the time to ask them as many detailed questions as I could have or should have. They were the ones that were so detailed and had the answers.

7. Write Things Down-Finally, I'm not telling you to completely go overboard on this one but I wish I would have written things down more like the brand of laundry detergent my Mom used. Smelling that scent always made me feel like home. I know the brand but I don't recall the exact scent, had I written it down. From air freshener, perfume, laundry detergent or favorite candle. It's the little things that once she is gone will be able to help you feel like "home" again once she is gone.

#motherless #mom #loss #grief #crying #Imissyou #family #love #advice


  1. Oh my goodness Nicole it must be kismet that I linked up after you. I lost my mom three years ago to suicide and so much of my writing is on that subject. I'm so sorry for your loss. I love this post.

  2. This is such a devastating post. I'm so sorry about the loss of your mum, but thank you for reaching out and sharing this advice to remind those of us to not take for granted our times with our mums. I'll definitely be appreciating my time with her. I like the idea of asking for recipes, what a great way to keep a part of her legacy going (we all love mum's home cooked recipes!). I'm going to be asking my mum for hers now. Thank you for sharing this with us all x

  3. Definitely such good points and things to do. We really take for granted so much the time we will have with loved ones. My mum has been writing some memoirs and I am so grateful she is doing this. She also wants to tell me about where all the beautiful things in her house came from so I know their story. Really love also the idea of the videos too. I haven't done videos for a while with my mum and this would be special.
    Suzy In the Lyons Den


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