If I had to rate my hardest days thus far today would be on the list of the top five on my grief journey.
I get to see my Mom again today after five years.
I changed my outfit a million times and finally settled on one with a hat because she liked me in them.
I want to look my best for her today.
I'm not sure what I will say to her or how I will feel when we see each other. I know she will look different and I will too.
It's not how I imagined getting to see her again.
I wish seeing her again meant I could hug her or hold her hand. I wish seeing her again meant she was still here and not just ashes in a box.
Today I'm going to face this hard day in grief.
Today I'm going to feel every bit of emotion and cry it all out.
Today I'll show grief I know how to be braver and stronger than it could ever be.
I'll miss you forever Mom.