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Showing posts from March, 2016

Don't Be Deceived By Social Media Grief

A few days ago I made a post with a picture. In the picture I had books balanced nicely on my head, a few balanced in my hand and I was taking a picture with my phone in the other hand. What you saw was the best picture, the one where everything looked great. I want to show you the picture you didn't see. The one with the books falling off my head mid picture while I'm dropping my phone. You might be wondering what this has to do with ‪#‎grief‬. It has a lot to do with it. You see all these things on social media about #grief but do not be deceived, sometimes you are only being shown the "best" not the real behind he scenes stuff, the ‪#‎messy‬ side of grief. So the next time you see something on social media and think, "Why am I not there yet in my grief??" or "Maybe I should be happy all the the time in this grief" or even "Maybe if I do everything this person does, my grief journey will turn out picture perfect like theirs." Don'…

What Grey's Anatomy Taught Me About #Grief

On this ‪grief‬ journey I've often found that you can find lessons on grief and ways to cope in the most unexpected places. Greys Anatomy would be that unexpected place for me. I'm going to share with you a few things Greys Anatomy has taught me about grief and coping with it. ‪#‎Dance‬ it out. When you are having a bad day with your grief, go home, turn up the music and dance it out. You can dance it out alone, with a friend or with family. Either way, the results are the same, a good laugh. Find your person. Everybody needs a person on this grief journey. It can be someone you've known for years, a family member, spouse or someone you just met that is walking this hornet. Your person is there for you at all hours of the night, on the good day and bad days and they just get you and this messy grief. Your person remembers important anniversaries of your loved one and doesn't need to be reminded. Go find your person. Sometimes you just need to lay on the bathroom floor …

#Grief Is A #Bully

Here's the deal you guys, you have to envision ‪#‎grief‬ as a mean girl or a bully because that's what it is. You have to remember that you ultimately have the power to tell grief how this journey is going to roll. Grief wants to fear you into believing that it is going to drown you. I'm living proof that's not ‪#‎true‬. There will be days you have to wear a life jacket even when you know how to swim. Days when you just need to doggie paddle, days where you just need to wade knee deep in the kiddie pool. Then there are those really amazing days, the ones where you swim out to the deep end or you dive off the diving board and face grief head on. So the next time grief tells you it's going to drown you. You tell that mean girl/bully that you are taking back control of your life and you tell it who's boss. ðŸ‘Š 🏻You remind grief you know how to swim. 🏊🏻
So get out there, wear a life jacket and a life saver if you have to on some days, simply float some days but k…

What Do #WorldWaterDay and #Grief Have In Common?

Drinking plenty of water plays a major role in the grief journey. Staying hydrated especially when you are grieving is really important. Drinking plenty of water helps re-hydrate‪#‎grief‬. your body from all the tears we shed during our
Also when we are grieving we have a tendency to forget to take care of ourselves which can lead us to get sick. Drinking lots of water can help prevent that. Cheers to ‪#‎worldwaterday‬💦 ‪#‎motherlessmother‬ #grief ‪#‎griefhurts‬‪#‎griefawareness‬‪#‎cancer‬‪#‎cancersucks‬‪#‎ripmom‬‪#‎worldwaterday2016‬‪#‎water‬‪#‎nestlewater‬‪#‎hope‬‪#‎healthy‬‪#‎healing‬‪#‎health‬‪#‎missingmom‬‪#‎griefjourney‬‪#‎encouragement‬

Choosing To Use It

🎉You guys, we have two choices on this ‪#‎grief‬ journey. We use it or let it consume us.🎉You  You guys, we have two choices on this‪#‎grief‬journey. We use it or let it consume us.🎉🎉 You guys, we have two choices on this #grief journey. We use it or we let it consume us.  I'm choosing to use it with hope and a smile on my face. If I let it consume me and never share my story. The story of my mom, the story of how grief changed me for the better and the story of hope for others then I have allowed grief to win. We do not want to let grief win. ðŸ‘ŽðŸ» Get out there, share your story, talk about your loved one even if your voice is shaking and don't let grief win. One day you will turn around and grief won't be so scary, instead it will be just another part of your amazing story. ðŸ™ŒðŸ» #grief ‪#‎curecancer‬‪#‎braincancer‬‪#‎blog‬‪#‎griefjourney‬‪#‎hope‬‪#‎love‬‪#‎loss‬‪#‎ripmom‬

The Word "And" Is A Game Changer

It's ‪#‎funny‬ how one small word on this ‪#‎journey‬ can make such an impact. The word "and" is a game changer you guys. I faced tomorrow even when it was hard, even when I didn't want to, even when it would have been easier to wish the day away AND tomorrow was brighter AND I was ‪#‎stronger‬. At times I thought I wouldn't be able to learn how live a life without my mom in it but I did AND I'm surviving. You guys, you may not be at your "and" moment yet or maybe you are and just haven't realized it. I promise you will get there AND you will look back and realize how far you've come. You can do this AND we will be here walking this journey with you. 💯 ‪#‎griefawareness‬‪#‎ripmommy‬‪#‎ripmom‬‪#‎missingmom‬‪#‎griefjourney‬‪#‎cancersucks‬‪#‎love‬‪#‎encouragement‬‪#‎motivation‬‪#‎mom‬‪#‎friends‬‪#‎blog‬‪#‎blogger‬‪#‎lifeblogger‬‪#‎griefblogger‬‪#‎griefhurts‬‪#‎ripdad‬

It's Okay To Be Broken In #Grief

Can I share a secret with you tonight? It's okay to be broken. 🤕 There I just gave you full permission. A free pass if you will. When we are broken that's when things become beautiful. You guys, we've experienced ‪#‎grief‬. Don't dismiss it as a small feat. There isn't any one level of grief greater than the other. Therefore we all have a right to be broken in it. It's how you are going to use that brokenness. Those dark days when you wanted to stay in the deep hole of grief.🕳 So go ahead, be broken but come back to us. Don't hide that brokenness when you come back either. That's going to be‪#‎hope‬ for others. We never want to hide our brokenness in this grief. We will be right here waiting for you when you come out of that brokenness. We will even help put you back together if you need us to. ðŸ’— #grief ‪#‎loss‬‪#‎blogger‬‪#‎blog‬‪#‎reallife‬‪#‎ripmom‬‪#‎youshouldbehere‬‪#‎missingmom‬‪#‎instapic‬‪#‎griefjourney‬ #hope ‪#‎depression‬‪#‎lifeisgood‬‪#‎…

Doing Tough Things In #Grief

Sometimes in ‪#‎grief‬ no matter where you are you have to sit on the floor and do tough things. The kind of things you never imagined yourself doing like going through your moms clothes. It's funny how her entire earthly possessions can now fit into three little neatly folded piles. It's been almost five years and I'm finally at a place where I am doing something she would have wanted me to do a long time ago. All the while I can hear her saying, "Nik, they are just clothes, that's all." Grief wants me to hold onto these things. In hopes they will bring me sadness every time I see them. Today #grief, I defeated you again. ðŸ‘ŠðŸ» Today I'm smiling going through her clothes. I'm thinking of all the happy memories and mostly I'm thinking of all the people these clothes are going to bless. The ones that have less than us. Take that grief, not only did I escape your entrapment of sadness but I also get to bless someone in the process. I would say that …

We've All Heard of #Mommy Wars But What About #Grief Wars

We've all hear of "‪#‎mommy‬ wars" but what about "‪#‎grief‬ wars." Yes, you read that correctly. I like to consider grief wars when others from non-grievers to fellow grievers judge another person on how they grieve. Anything from "you didn't grieve long enough" to "you should be done grieving now." Or "Maybe if you had more faith you wouldn't grieve so much" and "I hardly see you cry, did you even grieve?" You guys I've heard it all and then some. Some of things I've heard would make your skin crawl. It's even been said to me by a fellow griever because my journey didn't look like theirs. My goodness if there was a "right" way to do this then we would all surely be doing it. ðŸ™ŒðŸ» But we can't because there isn't. Me losing my mom at 25 is different than you losing your mom at 5. It's going to cause us both different grief and different journeys. We need to stop telling grie…

The Friends That Meet You In Grief

When my mom was diagnosed as terminal and then passed away I had very few friends stick around. No one brought us meals, asked to come to doctors appointments with us, no one asked to come sit through chemo and radiation. No one offered to come sit with me on the nights I stayed at her house and we curled up on the bathroom floor and I rubbed her sweet bald head as she stayed so sick. No one just came by to check in on me. I was deep in grief watching my mom slowly die. I was even in a deeper grief the day she died and the friends I thought I could count on left me alone. Things like this can make you ‪#‎bitter‬ and ‪#‎angry‬. Don't let allow grief to take you there. ðŸ‘ŠðŸ» I wish I could show you a picture now five years later of all the faces of friends that ‪#‎love‬ on me through the hard days. The ones that walk with me on this grief and the ones that show up just to say they care. My friends aren't mind readers even as amazing as they are and I've realized I have to te…