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Showing posts from December, 2016

Hello 2017

I'm so sorry if 2016 was a bad one for you

I'm so sorry if you are happy to see it go.

I'm so sorry if 2017 has already started out rough for you or not how you anticipated

I'm so sorry if you can't see any hope for 2017 being any better.

I'm so sorry if 2016 handed you a big pile of cow manure and that was the best part of your year.

Here's what I do know though, we can't keep blaming a year for our grief.

I suffered two major losses in 2016 but I'm thankful for it and sad to see it go.


Because here I am healthy, happy, hopeful and living to see another day.

Not all of us made it out of 2016 alive. For those we lost 2016 was in fact the worst year.

You are sitting here reading this so I'd say you have much to thank 2016 for and 2017 already. 💗

Now get out there, love on 2017 like it's your best friend and spread kindness wherever you go this year.

Tell grief to take a hike that you've got big plans for 2017 and grief isn't in…

Sad To See You Go 2016

Everyone is posting things like, "Peace Out 2016" or "Good Riddance 2016."

I'm over here saying, "2016 I'll Miss You."


It's not because it was the best year ever or because amazing memories were made. It's not because I went on some awesome vacation or because I finally won the lottery.

It's not because there was anything absolutely spectacular about 2016.

In fact I had some major losses including two grandparents. I had the fifth anniversary of my Mom's passing and the first Christmas without my grandmother.

Yet, I'm still sad to see 2016 coming to an end.

In some bizarre way it means I am year further away from the last day I saw my Mom. It means I am a year further away from the last time I felt her hug, saw her smile, heard her say "I love you" or heard her laughter.

You see life is so short that I don't want to wish any year away. This year may have held some bad moments but it wasn't a bad year.

I …

Triggers in Grief on Christmas

I debated on posting this video. Simply because I haven't had this kind of trigger in my grief in awhile. I wasn't prepared for it to come out on the video.

However, I realized that I need to be honest and post things like this so that other's won't feel so alone in their grief.

I filmed it on Christmas Day when a song came on the radio that I've listened to a thousand times over but on that day at that particular minute it took me to a place of grief.

It's okay if you get through the holidays crying, laughing or doing both at the same time while missing your loved one.

All that matters is that you make it through the day knowing that tomorrow is a new day. A day filled with hope and joy. A day where grief will look completely different and it might even be the day that grief becomes beautiful to you.

My Grief Is His Grief Too

There never has been or ever will be another person that can understand your grief quite like your sibling.
When we are together it's like it instantly takes us back to when Mom was with us.
Yesterday was my brothers birthday. We spent the afternoon together talking, laughing and missing Mom.
I knew just how he felt sitting there wishing she was here for his birthday.
This is how we've always been together and how we were with our Mom.

He's one of the few people I can really be myself around and share my grief openly with because he gets it, he lived it right with me.


Grief At The Fast Food Drive Thru

Grief tried to pop up at the fast food drive thru for me today. 

Little did grief know I already knew it was going to be there which is why I chose to show up and face it. 

I saw it on the commercials asking if everyone remembers the Taco Salad. 

Yes, grief I remember the Taco Salad. I remember it being her favorite. I remember she would always ask if I wanted one. I would tell her "No thank you" but she would eventually share anyways. I remember how it was the only Salad she ever got from there.

I could have allowed grief to win and take me to a place on memory lane where there is a street in her name that I tried to avoid for many years.

Not today grief, not today.

Today I showed up here for a face off. I showed up here knowing where you would be. I showed up here knowing you thought I would never show.

Not only did I show up, I ordered that damn Taco Salad too! 🌮👊🏻

So next time grief, get ready because I'm going to keep showing up and keep telling you how we are going to h…

Memory Ornaments and Friendship Goals

Three years I was still navigating my grief when my path was crossed with someone traveling the same journey. In the beginning of my grief I felt alone. I couldn't find anything or anyone that could relate to a 20 something young adult losing their parent and talking about it. Then God showed me there were people just like me in my very own town. People just like me that I shared mutual friends with. A few Facebook messages in and we joked that our Moms were up in Heaven plotting for us to be friends. The first time I met my sweet friend I made her an ornament in memory of her Mom.
I was making it and I clearly remember my husband saying, "This might be the last time you hear from her if you give her that the first time you meet." He didn't mean anything hurtful, he just knows not everyone is in the same place on the grief journey. What might be helpful to one might be hurtful to another. Before her and I parted ways when meeting I quickly gave it to her and hurried …

Goodwill Socks and Life Lessons on Christmas

I grew up poor by society's standards.
Raised by a single Mom, we lived with my grandmother or in income based housing in the mountains of southeastern Kentucky.
She worked two jobs and almost everything we owned was from the goodwill or given to us by friends or family from our couch to our car.
It wasn't until later on in life that I realized a few years for the holidays I was an angel on the Christmas tree at the local Salvation Army.
We never had a family Christmas picture taken with a professional photographer for Christmas cards, we couldn't afford it.
One year all my Mom could afford was a pair of really fancy used socks from the goodwill for me. 
My most valuable life lessons were learned the years I didn't get much for Christmas.
My Mom and I would go do things for free for others instead. One year we went and painted the nails for a few ladies at a local nursing home that were alone on Christmas. One year we made homemade Christmas cards and handed them out …