Skip to main content

Posts

Showing posts from March, 2017

The Secret To Getting Through Grief

Are you ready? I am about to give you the secret to getting through grief•

Slowly


You see, most of us want to rush through it. We wish some days away. We wish we could skip over the anniversaries. We wish we were years away from the day the world went quiet from losing them. We want to rush through the whole thing. We want to just get over it. •

When you do that you miss the purpose of the pain, the purpose of the grief. I know you can't see it early on but it's there. You definitely won't see it if you spend the entire journey running from the grief or trying to fast forward through it.


In my grief, I've found the courage I never knew I had. I found my passion in life. I found lasting friendships and I found true joy and hope. I found myself. I found the person my Mom gave wings to but was too afraid to fly all those years ago. •

I would have never found all those things had it not been for going slowly through the grief. •

Don't rush your grief. Slow down and …

How To Fail People In Grief

After losing my Mom, my eyes were opened and my world became a little bigger. I invested in people instead of just myself or my small world. That's when my mission began and I wanted to right my wrongs with others, spread more kindness instead of leaving people broken, and meet people right where they were knowing at that very moment they were giving their very best. 
I was sure this was going to please everyone. I was sure that because grief had changed my outlook and my heart that everyone was going to be happy with it. I learned very early on this wasn't going to be the case. I became a people pleaser in a world that is filled with people that are never really satisfied. I became a fixer of people without realizing there are some breaks that not even kindness nor mending of bridges can repair.

That's when I realized this new chapter, my life after her wasn't about mending things I had broken. It wasn't about being kinder after my loss so that other's would …

Forget Me In Heaven

What if she doesn't remember me in Heaven?
That thought crossed my mind for the first time after nearly six years of losing her. I cried a lot thinking, what if it's not the same and she's just not my Mom anymore, not like it was before.

I just always assumed she would never forget me. Never forget the memories we shared or the love, I was always positive both of those things could never be broken.

What if she completely forgot about me?

What if now that she's up there it's no longer her job to keep being my Mom? What if it's no longer her job to keep worrying about me, getting excited over milestones for me or wishing she could hug me? What if it's been so long since we've talked that she doesn't care to know me anymore? What if she has went so many years now without being my Mom, what if that's just no longer part of her?

Then I started hoping she has forgotten about me

I don't want to think about her up there in Heaven with a broken hear…

To The Fellow Motherless Daughter I Asked To Be My Friend

Yes, you read that correctly. I asked another fellow Motherless Daughter to be my friend on social media. 
How you ask? Oh, don't worry I have a video in here for you to see every cringe-worthy moment. 
Look, sometimes you have to go out on a limb. People are people and especially when it comes to another motherless daughter, we get it. We get that you want to be surrounded by others that just get it too. 
Sometimes you just have to let people know when you think you should be friends in real life.
You find yourself hearing about other motherless daughters and you just feel this instant connection like you are already friends. 
Want to know the good news?? She said yes to be my friend. I love it so much when my heart is full of friends that understand my grief. 

Is there someone you've been wanting to reach out to perhaps a fellow motherless or fatherless daughter? Don't sit back, reach out! After all, we are all in this together.

Come On In The Water's Fine

I know they always say grief comes in waves. They also say grief is not the same for everyone, that's where I disagree.

Grief is the same it's just that the waves comes at different times and have a different impact for each of us. Each of us rides out the waves differently but still the same waves for all of us in grief. 
The waves of grief never change, we change.

You have to make a choice how you are going to deal with the waves. Are you going to let them consume you? Are you going to ride them out? Or are you going to hold on to dear life for all your lifesavers around you, jump on your surfboard and own that wave?

In the end, the results are the same for all of us in the fact that we all will end up with waves of grief at some point in our lives. Some more than others and some less.

So get out there, put on your life jacket, jump on your surfboard, find all the extra life savers out there which look a lot like family, friends and fellow grievers that might be strangers and rid…

To The World My Grief Isn't Much But To One Person My Grief Is Everything

I was right in the middle of my self-loathing and grief pity party where my poor husband was the guest of honor.

I was crying the ugly messy tears telling him that my blog and writing about my grief was pointless. 
I went on to tell him how my words would never be as earth shattering as those of writers such as @_jk.rowling or C.S. Lewis. "I don't have followers, I barely get any likes and zero shares." 
Because we all know all those things matter so much 😳 (Please note the sarcasm)

He let me catch my breath as he calmly said, "Nik you could be right. Your words might not be so earth shattering and amazing to so many that you get on any bestseller lists." Insert the insulted look I had on my face here. "However your words might be so Earth shattering to one person that it changes their whole world. Maybe that one person is the whole reason God is using you for this, He needs you to reach them." 
Insert the humbled look I had on my face here.

Friends, if yo…

Wherever You Are Nana Is There

My guys will never know the feeling of going to a cemetery to visit their Nana, instead, they get the beach.  In fact, I don't want them to think they have to go to one particular place to visit with her or talk to her.I want them to know that Nana is always right here, wherever right here is to them.
You see I want them to understand that no matter where Nana's ashes were spread her soul is free and flying high in Heaven.I don't want them to feel like they must visit her in one place. Although having a place to visit her is definitely lovely but it's not truly where she resides.I want them to know she's there at the breakfast table with us, she's there for all their special events and big memories, Nana and her memory are always right here, all we have to do is talk about her and then she's there.#momlife#fatherless#youshouldbehere#youarenotalone#cancersucks#cancer#healing#crying#cremation#beach#memories#motherless#motherlessdaughters#mom#daughter#father