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Showing posts from April, 2017

How To Help Your Motherless Friend On Mother's Day

Mother's Day for the Motherless is a tough one no matter how many years it has been. As a friend or loved one this day might be tough for you. You might find yourself feeling helpless as you see your friend missing their Mom on this day. To sit back and watch as your friend grieves, you don't know what to say or do. You might even feel guilty for telling them what you are doing with your own Mom on this special day.

You find yourself slowly avoiding your Motherless friend on Mother's Day because you don't want to say or do the wrong thing, being away seems easier than hurting their feelings.

Good news!

I have compiled a list of things that you can do for your Motherless friend or loved one on Mother's Day. This way you don't have to avoid them. You might even find yourself filled with joy that you finally have a way to help them on this day. A way to make them not feel alone and a way to do something rather than nothing.

Please remember you will never have the …

Let Me Introduce Myself

Hi 👋🏻


I think it's time I re-introduced myself to everyone


My name is Nicholette, friends call me Nikki, family calls me Nick and my Mom called me her Sweet Pea


I lost my Mom when I was 25 and my first child was a year old


Six years that's how long I've been walking this beaten path


Our relationship wasn't perfect but my goodness she tried the best she could with what she knew


Writing for the past six years has been healing for my soul


I read the books, went through counseling and attempted running but realized I like to breathe instead


I say things on here that might make you uncomfortable in grief, might make you cringe, might make you angry


It's okay because I'm here to help others heal and be completely transparent on this journey. So that another 25-year-old girl won't be crying as she searches the internet for another #motherlessdaughter her age but instead feels hopeless and alone bc she can't find someone, to be honest 👩🏼‍💻


I celebrate ever…

Birthday Celebration With My Mom's Urn

Nothing to see her folks, just my Mom taking a selfie before we go shopping here at our favorite place {It's okay, you can laugh. I intend for you to laugh right along with me on this crazy grief journey. Goodness knows my Mom would be.}


You guys, taking this urn around today has been comical. I've laughed so much at times, wondered if people could see it all safely buckled in the passenger seat. I've wondered what they would say or think if only they knew


Then you toss all those worries out the window and realize you don't care what people think because healing is what matters most. Finding joy and hope in grief is what matters he most


You see, grief won't look normal to you if you haven't experienced this kind of tragedy or loss


Traveling around on your birthday with an urn buckled in and taking selfies with said urn might seem like I've lost it to most


Carrying around an urn with my Mom for my 32nd birthday is not how I anticipated spending any birthday.…

An Outing With My Moms Urn

Seven years without getting to spend my birthday with my Mom is long enough.
• Today, we are spending the day together.
• I'm going to spend the day saying things like, "I'm going to lunch with my Mom for my birthday" or "I'm going to pick up my birthday cake with my Mom."
• Things most of you probably take for granted. Things most of you get to say every year. Things I haven't been able to say in seven years.
• For those of you that are without your Mom on these days, don't let grief box you in. Don't let grief make you think you can't make new memories with your loved ones.
• You don't need an urn, you can take a picture of them and include them in the celebrations.
• If you'll excuse me, I'm off to spend the day with my Mom. Don't worry I'll make sure to buckle her in.

That Vase Is My Mom

We had a kind gentleman come into our home this morning to discuss future planning with my husband and me. You know, the extremely fun adult stuff. Gentleman: "That is an absolutely beautiful vase you have there." Me: "Oh, that's my Mom." Gentleman: Silence, quickly exits the kitchen. You guys, after almost seven years I no longer find grief or discussions about my Moms ashes and urn being kept in my kitchen an uncomfortable topic. Sometimes I forget grief can make others uncomfortable. I'm sorry but that's not going to stop me. We can't let it stop any of us from talking about it.
You see, this grief will be a reality to all of us at some point in our lives. If we continue to sweep it under the rug, the more uncomfortable it becomes. It isn't until we make it part of our conversations and show the hope, joy and even humor in grief that others will feel comfortable with it. As grievers, we set the tone. So to the poor man I scared today with my …

Let's Have The Talk

Can we talk? I know we don't tell each other enough but I want to meet you right where you are in the trenches of that messy grief
. I want to give you a big hug right in the middle of your brokenness from grief and tell you "I'm here."
. I want to reach out my hand for yours and let you know that you aren't walking in this grief alone
. I want to tell you that I see the grief you are hiding behind that smile. I know the hurt you are feeling because you miss them so much. Some days, in fact, you miss them so much it's hard to breathe. Your heart feels like it could actually burst at the seams . I'll tell you that you don't have to go through this grief thing perfectly. I'll tell you to give yourself grace. To talk about them often. I'll tell you that even when it feels like you can't find the words that explain how much you miss them that you won't need to because I'll just get it
. I will understand your silence when the words won…