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Showing posts from December, 2017

Family Secrets In Grief

I’ve been keeping a secret for over a year now
• One my mom kept from me for many, many years and took with her to the grave
• One she told my grandmother about before she passed and asked my grandmother to tell me only when she felt I was ready to know it
• A secret she kept to protect not only me but others
• A secret I am now ready to share with you because I might need your help on this journey
• As far back as I can remember I’ve always felt as though a part of me was missing. I never knew what it was until my grandmother told me this secret and it all made sense
• This secret was important now because after losing so many key people in my life
• The secret is that I have siblings that I have never met, siblings that might not even know I exist from my father
• Siblings I am on a mission to find and have in my life, to be surrounded by more family because that’s what matters the most
• As you can imagine my whole world went for a spin when I found this out and people that once were stran…

What Your Grieving Friend Needs During The Holidays

Holidays for grievers are tough one no matter how many years it has been. As a friend or loved one this day might be tough for you. You might find yourself feeling helpless as you see your friend missing their loved one on any holiday. To sit back and watch as your friend grieves, you don't know what to say or do. You might even feel guilty for telling them what you are doing with your own family during this time of the year. 

You may even find yourself slowly avoiding your grieving  friend during the holidays because you don't want to say or do the wrong thing, being away seems easier than hurting their feelings.

Good news!

I have compiled a list of things that you can do for your  friend or loved one during this time of the year. This way you don't have to avoid them. You might even find yourself filled with joy that you finally have a way to help them on this day. A way to make them not feel alone and a way to do something rather than nothing.

Please remember you will never…

No Elves or Santa Welcome Here

I’ll wait right here while you pick your mouth up off the floor


I’ll even wait another minute so you can ready your fingers for all the mom shaming you are about to do


We don’t do Santa or elves on the shelf at our house. We never have and I am not a bad mom for it


Don’t get me wrong when my oldest could understand we went with the whole Santa thing and with fear in his eyes he said, “So someone we don’t know sneaks into our home at night when we are asleep?”


That was the beginning of the end for Santa in our home


When people ask them what they want Santa to bring them they aren’t rude and don’t ruin it for everyone else by saying he isn’t real


We don’t do elves that watch our every move because the reality is that will only last for so long anyways


Go ahead and tell me I am crushing their childhood memories but you guys I just don’t have time to make sure I take care of an elf at our house and I don’t want to. I have a husband, three boys, and a dog, I’m good


I didn’t have an elf on …

Excuse Me, There's A Randall In Your Hair

I have spent a majority of the evening questioning if my husband loves me or if I, in fact, have friends that truly care about me • I’ve also questioned if there are any kind strangers in the world or honest people and if my kids like me
• I’ve said hello to a neighbor as I was loading the kids up for school. I got out of the school drop off line braving the cold with no makeup on to give my guy an extra hug. I’ve FaceTimed my husband and went inside a store
• You guys I did so much this morning, went so many places, reached out to so many people and I regret it all
• So many opportunities for someone, anyone to truly show me they care and yet not one person said anything
• Not one single person informed me that in the midst of my chaotic morning and sleepless night I somehow ended up with Randall in my hair
• Not only in my hair but proceeded to tote him around in my hair and with me most of the morning in public and around friends, my husband and strangers
• So here’s my PSA for the worl…

First LIVE Blog Interview

Did my first LIVE blog interview tonight


It doesn’t matter how vulnerable I’ve been on my grief journey here on social media, going live made me nervous


You guys, I had so much fun! It was so nice to talk about my blogging journey, my grief journey and my mom

I Need You

I need you today
• That’s what I said to my husband before he left for work this morning
• It’s something I haven’t said too often and don’t say nearly enough in the thirteen years we’ve been together
• He could hear in my tone that there was something different about the way I said it so he stopped dead in his tracks
• The day had barely begun but I today I wanted him to know he was needed
• He was needed for the comfort that only he could give when the weight of the world felt like it was on my shoulders
• He was the one I needed to pick up the phone on the other end so I could tell him about things that matter and things that don’t from my day
• He was the one I needed to walk through that door just as I was feeling like I was about to break and be the one to help put me back together again
• He is the one I need to look over and find standing by my side when world feels like it’s throwing me more than I can handle
• He is the one I need to come home to everyday and fall asleep with every …